Sonic Avenger

Cassandra Complex

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:42:00 +0000

Listening to: Dick Dale - Hava Nagila

This is how I began my week.
Just me and Cassandra in the Sonic Chariot parked up a sidestreet in Harehills, Leeds, waiting for a noon appointment with Pain. Another of those Monday morning in-car hot-water bottle scenarios. I definitely need to go somewhere very sunny for quite a while right now, that's for sure.

Same Road - Other Way

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:57:00 +0000

Listening to: The Spotnicks - Orange Blossom Special

3.00pm today found yours truly hurtling the opposite way over The Pennines on what turned out to be a nice afternoon for a drive...even if it was on Satan's Slip-road. It's still far from being a leisurely outing though, even on a Sunday. Still, I arrived at Chéz Sonique in one piece, so all's well.
It only dawned on me after the fact, but I didn't procure any photo-evidence of either of my two trips into the outside world on foot, this last week. I actually took my camera with me on both occasions ... just forgot to use it at the appropriate times. I'm sure I'll get better at this kind of thing once I remember how to mingle with the public at large again. Just give me time pop-kids, it'll all come flooding back.
Noon tomorrow sees me back on the physio bench at St. James' Hospital, Leeds. Not entirely looking forward to this, as the physiotherapist isn't what you'd call a People Person. Apart from this he specialises in dubious painful physical manipulations,, but not in that this-is-probably-doing-me-a-world-of-good way. My day will improve once I've gotten this part of it done and dusted.
I shall then proceed with my week in a most positive fashion.
Onwards™....

The Opposite

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:18:00 +0000

Listening to: Todd Rundgren - Hello it's Me

Whilst pondering life's Big Questions, as you do, I've started to consider - as a serious mode for living - a philosphy posited in one of the greatest of all Seinfeld episodes. Seriously. Entitled The Opposite, it's intended as a working method for overcoming pitfalls and hauling yourself onto the right-track in life: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

There's something so monumentally correct about this idea, so Zen-like in it's obviousness, that it's just impossible to disagree with the logic of it. It's fair to say that at the moment, my life resembles George Costanza's quite a bit, apart from the fact that I have hair. Thick, lustrous, flowing hair, but I digress. Whatever the case, I'm going to give this approach a serious trial period. As Elaine puts it, there's no telling what could happen from this.

On the Road again

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 21:03:00 +0000

Listening to: Late of the Pier - Fantasy Black Channel

Greetings once more my people. Back again on the Lancashire side of the Pennines. I'm hitting the M62 sufficiently often these days to consider writing my own Kerouac-style stream-of-consciousness Bible of the Beats, but using the Devil's Own Highway as my dark rain-lashed muse. Not sure it'd stretch to a book, but maybe a hefty pamphlet would be feasible. I'll keep you posted on that one, naturally.
Anyhoo, the onward march of time sees my once lame right-leg feeling a little better about life, and mobility is now a realistic option for Yours Truly. It's still not 100% straight, but getting there. I feel that my re-emergence unto the outside world is imminent...in fact, this coming week. There, I've said it. I'll have photographic evidence and everything, so stay tuned.

Eternal Darkness

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 21:07:00 +0000

Listening to: The Lovin' Spoonful - Summer in the City

So here we are again, poised at that most dreaded Autumnal place in time. The one where we Brits are ordered, by threat of firing-squad, to turn our clocks back one hour at 2am, thus marking the end of so-called British Summertime. This results in lighter mornings for farm workers...or something. Yeah well, as long as they're alright. It also results in night-time beginning daily at 2.30pm until next Spring.
What it really amounts to is a government ploy to make Winter yet more miserable, and lessen the ever-dwindling tendency of the Brit-Proletariat to revolt, and take to the streets with pitchforks and burning torches, shouting about Socialism. It seems to work I have to say - it's just too dark and damp for us to bother, what with all the health and safety laws in place these days.
As I type this, listening to high-winds and sideways rain, I'm bombarding my fevered brain with reassuring Summer sounds. This is because I haven't had one this year, what with the leg-brace, the crutches, the pennilessness, the infirmity and the Old Testament bad-ass weather to top it all off. When I finish up here, I'm going to watch Play Misty For Me, specifically so that I can mentally climb into Clint Eastwood's vintage open-top Jag and cruise the Pacific Coast Highway with my hair billowing in the wind, which in turn is blowin' through the jasmine in my mind whilst Clint and I wordlessly groove to some upfront Big-Band-freak-out selections on the 8-track. Yeahhhh!....

Taking Names

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:44:00 +0000

Listening to: Black Sabbath - Sweet Leaf

Greetings citizens. This week finds me back in the City of Culture 2008 once again, and in a reflective frame of mind. Today's Doonesbury pretty much sums up the worldwide financial meltdown as far as I can see. Any non-Icelandic folk unfortunate to have stashed their hard-earned with these jokers will be making a bonfire of their Björk and Sigur Rós albums as I type. The whole world has gone topsy-turvy mes amis and, while I can, I'm hiding from it all.
So amid this chaos, how, you must be asking, am I spending my days? I'll tell you. Bear in mind that I'm in escapist back-to-the-womb-head-under-the-duvet mode. In no particular order then, my typical day currently comprises of: Spending ages reading the morning paper; watching Columbo; eating Lidl's own Licorice Allsorts; thinking about having a shower; watching forgotten classics of the 70's on Youtube; looking out the window (upstairs and down); getting knee-massage; thinking about what I'm going to eat next; having my ham-strings stretched; watching Judge Judy in case it's one I haven't seen before. You get the general picture...

A Simple Life

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:55:00 +0000

Listening to: Four Tops - Seven Rooms of Gloom

Good Morning Blog-folks. Today is all about life's simple pleasures, and here's one of 'em. The accompanying image has been created using http://wordle.net/ a cute little apple that renders the contents of your site in a graphic wordy-type manner. That there is essentially a colour (U.S. readers: color) snap-shot of my brain on a black background. Most pleasing to the eye I have to say.
Ok, now I can get on with my day...

So it's goodbye to this...

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:10:00 +0000

Listening to: Klatsch! - God Save the Queer
Yesterday I got permission from my surgeon to throw away the leg-brace. I haven't yet, it's in the boot of the Sonic Chariot but a suitably lavish ceremony is being planned as I type. Fire may be involved.
Today I visited my physiotherapist who informs me that now the brace is no more, we can 'Really get down to it', manipulation-wise. As I understand it, this means more effort from me, more pain for me, and twice as much lurking around in the labrynthine bowels of Chéz Sonique with a damp towel and a wine-cooler, (see last post). As if the descent into The Dark Months wasn't traumatic enough for us sensitive artistic types...

Dead of Night

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:43:00 +0000

Listening to: Yes - Heart of the Sunrise

So I eventually emerged into daylight after one week and five days. I was in dire need of some Vitamin D apart from anything else to be honest. Staying in as a lifestyle just isn't healthy pop-kids.
Once your body ceases to physically move around much on a daily basis, the general rules of body and mind begin to shift in accordance. Well, mine did at least. It's easy to see where good old fashioned Cabin Fever comes from, and I'm pretty sure I could draft out a fairly informative pamphlet on the painful topic of constipation now too. No further details on that one. Mind you, I had the WWW and a couple of chew-toys to keep insanity at bay I suppose.
One thing that seems to happen quite easily is the shift to nocturnal living, especially as some of the best borderline-loony TV is on post-midnight. I'm talking Couples that Kill, Serious Maniacs, and Deviant Outback Activities, after which a restful night's sleep is simply not on the cards I can confirm.
Speaking of strange night-time activity, 1:25am sees yours truly in the catacombs of Chéz Sonique carrying out my hot & cold pre-bedtime knee-treatment. This is where the microwave and the deep-freeze reside, so it is here that it must take place. Damp towel into the microwave at full-power for 2 minutes, then straight onto afflicted knee; then ice (or wine-cooler in my case - see pic) same, straight after. Repeat three times. All being well, there will come a time in the not-too-distant when this won't be necessary, but for now while the rest of decent society sleeps, this is where you will find me.

Me Myself & I

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:02:00 +0000

Listening to: David Holmes - The Holy Pictures

As of this evening, I have not left the confines of my current location for precisely one whole week. It's a worryingly addictive state of affairs I'm finding, and ordinarily not something to be encouraged. However, the Robo-leg I have to drag around is my sole excuse for the immediate future. Right now I'm enjoying my status as a seldom-seen, twisted, cackling recluse.
I've not even partaken of so much as a single glass of vino since Monday, as buying it would entail leaving this ol' house. I reckon I can last 'til Sunday, so I'll stock up then. I'll probably drink it all in the supermarket, scurry back here, draw the curtains, strip down to my sonic shower-cap and commence talking to my 70's record-collection mimicking the vocal styling of Peter Lorre in The Beast With Five Fingers.
Yeah right, like you've never done that....

9/11 Seven years on

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:22:00 +0000

Listening to: BBC News

The seven-year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. On the basis that TV footage is worth several thousand words, kindly take a look at this short film. If you've never considered this topic worthy of your attention before now, this will change your mind. If it doesn't, check your pulse - you probably don't have one.
It includes interviews with Larry Silverstein, leaseholder of the World Trade Centre complex, who was awarded over $7,000,000,000 (that's a cool 7 billion to you and I) in insurance payouts after 9/11. The details of that insurance policy alone constitute damning enough evidence for the prosecution, but there's more:

I'm probably not alone in wondering why our American cousins haven't been rioting in the streets these past seven years.
While I'm at it, today sees the DVD release of The Elephant in the Room, a documentary about the 9/11 Truth Movement, which won the Best Documentary award at the 2008 London Independent Film Festival. British Film maker Dean Puckett has even granted permission for the public to make as many copies as they wish to distribute to interested parties. It can also be viewed for free at the film's official website here, as well as YouTube, BlipTV, and Google Video.
Come on people, it doesn't get any easier than that.

News from Northwest

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:07:00 +0000

Listening to: The TV ad that features Gordon is a Moron by Jilted John

Hello again boys & girls. This evening finds your roving reporter strangely at peace with the world and most things in it. Yes, my sojourn in the land of my forefathers is doing the trick. Not only are there less stairs for me to hobble up & down, but there's also a back-to-the-womb element involved here, which is definitely therapeutic. Just this afternoon, I was rooting through a cupboard for something when I happened upon an old Bugs Bunny Annual of mine from 1974. And with that chance development, there went my afternoon.
Yes, it all came flooding back. Refreshers, Blackjacks, Follyfoot, Kung Fu Fighting, Mojo Fruits, Music Scene magazine, Sherbert Dabs, The Tomorrow People, Vesta Chow Mein, Minstrels when they were Treats, Snickers when they were Marathons, Wagon Wheels when they were big - All the important issues of the day. Not forgetting of course, Popular music of the Glammerous variety. Ah yes, it was a very different time blog-children... (fade-up miserable brass-band music). Have to say though, I've never met anyone else who ever got the Bugs Bunny annual for Christmas.
So I'm easily entertained at present if nothing else, as you can see.
In other regional news, Fleetwood Pier - the jewel in that town's crown - has burned down. Foul-play is suspected. My hunch is that some property-developer somewhere in the Northwest is keeping very quiet indeed. What with that and the giant French spider episode last weekend, I have my days full just keeping abreast of it all.
Expect further bulletins.

Out and About

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:28:00 +0000

Listening to: LCD Soundsystem - Big Ideas

They say your feet always put on 10 pounds when they're photographed or something don't they? Whatever the case, behold those two Sonic beauties up there. Twisted and bent via a lifetime of ill-advised yet fashionablé et fon-kay footwear, they've seen dancefloor-styles come and go, and taken 'em all on. For now though, a truce has been called. Doesn't that pic somehow embody Summer in present-day Cruel Britannia?
Take it from me dear reader, being on crutches when it's raining, particularly barefoot, conspires to make you feel like some bedraggled Dickensian wretch, no matter how glittery you might be feeling inside at the time. Once those skies open, pure animal instinct dictates that you run for cover, or at least move a bit faster. You can't really do that with these things. You just get wetter for longer, which takes some getting used to at first. Unspoken communication comes into play; passers-by look on sympathetically and you start winking at other crutched-up folks, all Masonic like.
I'm sure I shall emerge from this episode a better person, blog-children. Either that or a complete psychopath. Whichever, I'll have learned a life-lesson. Stay tuned.

1 week down - 5 to go

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:28:00 +0000

Listening to: The Maury Show

Greetings Blog World. Can't say I've got that much to report as I've not left the confines of Chéz Sonique too many times since my last post. Mind you, on the occasions that I have, I've gained one or two insights into potential problems faced by the disabled community out there.
The first one I came across is the sheer absence of any kind of consideration for the fact that you're hobbling around on crutches given by the bogbrush-mulleted Primark-worshipping Chuckle Brothers clones* that constitute the customer-base of my local branch of ASDA. This refers to both genders by the way. Doesn't bring one's best points to the fore too readily pop-kids. Mind you, this is where a pair of crutches come into their own; They can be brandished, sword-like, to visually enhance a stream of invective at passers-by, and in worst-case scenarios may be used as a very effective blunt instrument....I imagine.
* Apologies to any ASDA customers who may not actually be in-bred/brain-dead/troglodytic.

Toilet Re-Training

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:18:00 +0000

Listening to: Alice Cooper - Blue Turk

The story so far: As mentioned previously, I shall be living for the next six weeks in a world without underpants. With this in mind, the only civilised dress-solution, as I see it, comes in the shape of integrated undies. By this I mean the kind that come ready-stitched into sports shorts, usually made of netting or similar. Not very sexy, but they provide my brave little soldiers with a barracks, which is of the utmost importance to both of them.
Urination is now a bit of a production, ie, dragging my sorry ass to a suitable location in which to carry out this bodily necessity. None of this nipping to the bathroom lark...I can't Nip anywhere for the foreseeable. I've already cut down on my fluid intake, which isn't ideal.
Anyhoo, yesterday I thought I had a Really Good Idea as regards this problem. It involved a cut-down mineral-water bottle and a skylight. Sadly dear reader, it did not go well; My clothes all ended up in the washing-machine and I had to double-condition my hair. Back to the drawing board I think. Pity, as that would've saved me a lot of crutch-work.
All suggestions gratefully recieved.

Good & Not So Good News

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:03:00 +0000

Listening to: Sonic Avenger - Cosmic Message

As ever, yesterday's events didn't entirely go as I thought they might. Waiting for the op, I spent over 6 hours watching TV in a waiting area whilst bedecked in hospital attire. You know the kind of thing ... gown, slippers, paper-underpants. Yes, you read it right. Luckily I wasn't amongst the hapless few who mistook the latter for head-wear. It was hard not to laugh though.
It got to the point where I hadn't eaten or drunk anything for 24 hours, (total fasting had been requested) so I was in danger of generally losing my sense of humour about the whole thing. Luckily, just as this stage was being reached, a very large man wearing a mask appeared who then produced a felt-marker and proceeded to draw an arrow on my right-shin (see pic) which pointed to my right-knee. He then led me to a side room where I was laid out on a trolley and injected with what felt like rocket-fuel equivalent painkillers. A veil then descended, some fairies appeared and off we all went. Next thing I knew I was coming round with a very sore and very bandaged right-knee.

No Deputy Dawg, no hurling. Things have indeed moved on.
So the Good News is that I don't require a second operation to reconstruct a damaged ligament (this had been presented to me as a possibility). The NSG News is that I have to wear Robocop's spare leg-brace and use crutches for the next six weeks. Six freakin' weeks.
Every single thing in life now needs re-thinking: Underpants of any sort are a thing of the past...can't get 'em on over this thing. Boxers are simply not an option under any circumstances. Ironically, I now get to wear shorts for the first time this summer as I don't possess normal pants baggy enough to accomodate the Robo-Brace. Bathroom visits are pure theatre.
And this is Day 1...

Go Time

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 19:32:00 +0000

Listening to: Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song

Things sure move fast in the world of doctors and nurses. The phone did indeed ring, and a voice on the other end informed me that I shall be having my knee-op tomorrow morning. It'll mean missing the Jeremy Kyle Show but what the hell. I've been told to be there for 7am, so all being well I'll be back at Chéz Sonique before noon. I had an idea that I'd be waiting 6 weeks or more, so this is a pretty good development.
Hopefully I can resume my extreme breakdancing career by the weekend.

Nurse, the screens

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:00:00 +0000

Listening to: Throbbing Gristle - 20 Jazz Funk Greats

So, I finally got the ok for an audience with the knee surgeon, one Dr. Venkatesh, to discuss the results of my MRI scan. Hobbled down to the relevant hospital wing in town, and waited with an army of bruised and battered souls to be summoned forth. I don't mind saying, I always feel uneasy in hospitals. Apart from anything else, in present-day Cruel Britannia, you simply don't know what you might be leaving the premises with, bug-wise. It may well be your last trip anywhere.
Anyhoo, with the aid of a plastic replica knee with all-moving parts, Doc-V explained the general scenario to me. I nodded a lot and pretended to understand. Long and short of it is, I'm getting operated on pop-kids - a personal first. I asked if I could maybe have the op done under local anaesthetic, but the answer was no, as they have to go in pretty deep by all accounts.

I haven't been under general anaesthesia since I had a tooth pulled when I was six. Back then this meant gas. The dentist, attempting to tap into my fast young hipster mind-set, asked what I'd like to dream about, man. Deputy Dawg I replied and promptly fell into a gaseous coma where me, Musky and Vince Van Gopher got into all kinds of crazy scrapes on a rickety old train speeding West, pursued by a gun-toting dog wearing a waistcoat and a stetson. When I came to, I vomited on the dentist. I'm hoping that med-tech has moved on a little since those heady days.
Just so y'all know, I don't want one of those Kurt Cobain-style candlelit vigils in the hospital grounds, as the moaning and wailing will interfere with my recuperation. However, I'll send a P.O. box address to all interested parties where flowers, wine, money and HMV vouchers may be forwarded to. Dig deep my people.
I will apparently get the call by the end of September, ie, the next six weeks, so I'm just waiting for that phone to ring, then it's Go-time.

Isaac Hayes RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 11:10:00 +0000

Listening to: Isaac Hayes - Hot Buttered Soul

20.08.42 - 10.08.08

MRI Scanning for Dummies

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:14:00 +0000

Listening to: The ringing in my ears

Now, you'll recall that recent post where I made reference to a mysterious state of affairs that I could not, at that time, be more specific about? Well, I know how y'all worry an' all, so I've saved my explanation until now.
In a nutshell, what happened was that I had an unfortunate accident whilst working in the quiant Roman walled-city of York on a U.S. TV production of Robinson Crusoe. (The Chinese woman however, must for legal reasons remain anonymous until further notice). I inadvertantly stepped backwards from a height of about 3 feet whereupon my right foot hit the ground and my leg moved to the right simultaneously. CRACK! Much pain, screaming, cursing and discomfort ensued.
The long and short of it is that I have some knee-damage which still prevents me from straightening my right leg, the result being that I'm kind of hobbling everywhere. Everywhere I can manage to get to that is. There's lots of things I have to think twice about doing right now I can tell you. Plus, I can't even wear shorts as I have to keep the knee area warm at all times. Yes, my Summer is going great pop-kids.
Anyhoo, thus far I've had a consultation with a knee specialist, then the same with a knee-surgeon. Today I had an MRI-scan. Not the funkiest of experiences I can safely report. I was swathed in a 4-sizes-too-small NHS gown, laid flat and shoved into a huge glowing tube (see above).
Apparently some folks freak out during this process, so I was given a panic-button to press in case of emergency and a pair of headphones. I was then instructed to keep absolutely still for the next half-hour.
Only once I was in there, the machine fired up and I was completely unable to move a muscle, did I discover to my horror that those headphones were for channeling the new Coldplay album directly into my brain. This was ultimately to take my mind off the 130 db of volume produced by the MRI scanner (equivalent to a jet engine) but really, come on, Coldplay?... where's the humanity?
Thankfully the metal machine music was there to take my mind off Coldplay.

Mad Mother Nature

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:48:00 +0000

Listening to: Jay-Z - Wonderwall

For those of you that have been taking notice this past week or so, behold my Nu-Skylight - the olde one being ripp'd untimely from the roof (see below).
Of course, I'll be needing some further cosmetic work to be done on the surrounding wall-area, but at least I'm watertight now. This is a major plus-point, because typical of July in Cruel Britannia, the rain is currently hammering down.
The only real casualty was my now ex-computer keyboard, which sadly died a water-related death, but was replaced earlier today at a cost of £6.99 from PC World. It all serves as a reminder, to myself at least, of the awe-inspiring power of Mother Nature, when she so chooses to vent...it. Be very afraid.

Wrath of God

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:08:00 +0000

Listening to: Miss Kubelik - The Very Essence

So there I was was merrily tweaking a few grammatical details in that last post yesterday. To put y'all in the picture, just above my head, from where I sit and tap out these stream-of-consciousness musings, is a skylight. My window to the heavens. A simple old school architectural feature that's been up there for over a century.
Nary a moment after I pressed the appropriate button to hurl my post into cyberspace, those gale-force winds I mentioned came along and ripped the skylight right off the roof - to a location I know not where.
Seriously. As simple as that. I went down into the local streets to look for the missing roof-piece, checking that it hadn't killed anyone or worse still, landed on a car. Nothing. Maybe it'll turn up on the evening news at some point later in the week.
I had to patch up the hole myself using cardboard, duct-tape and bin liners, lashed together up a ladder in extreme weather conditions...and Chéz Sonique is really high up. Like a more fon-kay version of Castle Dracula. I just hope my humble efforts can withstand the torrential rain that's been forecast for these parts tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.
For now, my God a-fearin' o-meter has just been cranked up to 9, out of a possible 10.

Anyhoo, where was I?

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:26:00 +0000

Listening to: Angels & Sailors - Miss Kubelik & Jim Morrison

Greetings again Earth-People. Currently listening to the lilting sounds of a Force 9 gale trying to lift the roof off of Chéz Sonique. Yes, Summer UK-style is upon us in full effect.
You'll notice that it's been a while since my last entry, and truth be told, it's been down to me not feeling as open and communicative as I usually am. Not the ideal attitude with this kind of thing I know. This sad state of affairs is down to events of the past month or so, which, for legal reasons I must share with y'all at a later date. Suffice it to say for now, that it involves an ancient Roman walled-city, a famous fictional castaway, a Chinese woman, and one very expensive step backwards into the unknown for myself. You know the kind of thing.
Anyhoo, what else?
I'll tell you what else: Miss Kubelik, a Sonic family-member, is
now out there and waiting for y'all. Take a listen to the stunning remix of chanteuse Sarah Nixey's When I'm Here With You, (then click to purchase on iTunes and others, if so desired) plus five other tracks.
Rhapsody in Black and Angels & Sailors - a Miss-K collaboration with the Woodstock generation's favourite Dyonisian consciousness expounder, Jim Morrison - are two tracks I'm rotating heavily as I type here.
Hang loose pop-kids, change is a-comin'....

Robin Getz

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Sat, 24 May 2008 14:59:00 +0000

Listening to: Sonic Avenger - Dirty Worksong

So dear reader, it was my birthday recently.
One of the cards sent to me via Her Majesty's Royal Mail unfortunately went missing, aka, stolen by a Post Office employee. Significantly it was the only item on it's way to yours truly that contained a cheque. I speak with some prior experience of this.
Several birthdays back, I had the same thing happen except on that occasion, multiple cards went missing, and guess what? They too, all contained money. I subsequently logged a complaint through Postwatch.
Approximately a year later I recieved a zeroxed reply essentially negating the very idea that anyone employed by Royal Mail would do such a heinous thing as steal from the mail. Mine had simply gotten lost somehow, apparently.
I remember thinking that, if there was a more effective way of completely wasting my time than registering such a complaint then waiting for a balanced response, I'd yet to discover it.
I mean, they're hardly likely to acknowledge the plain truth, which is that stealing goodies from the mail is, for some people, the sole reason for seeking employment in a sorting office. Who needs overtime when you can go home every night with cash, cheques, credit-cards and other delicious booty stuffed down your pants?
The upshot is that I now request that people send any mail to Chéz Sonique in a brown envelope, in the hope that it will convey a please-don't-steal-me-I'm-a-pamphlet message to any thieving scumbags in the sorting office.
Consequently, reading THIS today hasn't done my blood-pressure any good at all.

Vodaphobe

noreply@blogger.com (Sonic Avenger) — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:57:00 +0000

Listening to: Does it Offend You Yeah? - Battle Royale

It's not just AOL. My own private Techno-War is now being waged on two fronts; Vodaphone have joined the fray. Someone has to say it - timing has never been one of my strong points.
Some years back, I went from being a carefree pay-as-you-go kinda dude to having to consider a Mobile (U.S. readers: Cell) phone contract. After a fair degree of research I opted for Vodaphone. Later that same month, that same company made the biggest financial loss in UK corporate history. I'll wait a few moments for that to sink in fully. Corporate history.
Funnily enough, the same thing happened in 2006.

Whatever the case, fast forward to The Present and here I am, still with 'em. Yeah, I know.
Anyway, a fortnight or so ago I decided to negotiate a better deal. To this end I feel, the best way to cut to the chase is simply to phone up and tell 'em you're leaving for another network. You will then be connected to a person whose sole job it is to try to prevent you from doing this.
Long story short: I got a deal that I was reasonably happy with, plus a new phone in the post as part of the agreement. My main priority was that the phone also be a 5 megapixel camera. I figured that having one of these on my genius, creative-ass person 24/7 could only be A Good Thing. I opted for the Samsung G600. Great camera, nice menus, slick design. One problem: Camera part - fine, but nothing else works. Calls get cut off constantly. Most incoming calls never come at all. People think I'm hanging up on them. Not good.
I ring the company. Vodaman tells me to take my phone to the nearest Vodashop. They will run tests, assess the results, and give me a brand new one if needs be. Today I did this very thing.
There, Vodawoman tells me: That's just not true. We never have done/never will do this. Seems that, at best, they have to send the phone off to be repaired - takes at least a week.
I say to her: A mobile phone company telling downright lies to one of their own customers? Say it ain't so!!
She says: 'Hmm...er, yes. Anything else we can help you with?'
Presumably, now's the time for me to re-familiarise myself with the Great British phonebox.